more thoughts on “my heart”
hey here’s my response to kait’s “my heart post” from yesterday.
small things: i like “songs and details” better than just “details,” and I can make it work musically. thanks for the change to “somewhat impermanent,” though. that’s much easier to set.
I don’t buy not having the hook at the top of the second chorus - you’ll have to give me a good reason why it’s not helpful. also, what about having more of a rhyme there? something like: “of my present life now flying past.” if you really want that phrase to push ahead we could also change the second line to rhyme with heart and having the 4th line push into the chorus.
in terms of the end and structure, we definitely need to come back to the prechorus again at some point in the song. i think you said we couldn’t get to it after the second verse, thought-wise, and so we’ve ended up w/ this structure: V, P, C, V, C, P, C, (C). It’s actually pretty common, having your pre-chorus then function as your bridge. so i think after this second chorus we would have a short instrumental section (possibly w/ spoken text overtop), and then go into the prechorus again into a final chorus, extended chorus or double chorus. i think we should wait on talking about extensions work - i want to think about that musically.
But wait. Here’s a completely different, possibly simpler option, if we can’t get on the same page about the transition into the second chorus, is to revisit the idea of the simple pop structure: VPCVPCC. It just occurred to me that there’s a way to incorporate your list idea into the second prechorus. Something like:
Back home
With my dog Angelina
Back home
With my stuffed Eskimo
Back home with books about jesus
And cheetos and board games and pictures of Reno
My heart is split…
Which means the end of the song would then be just as you described it – just a double or extended chorus. I don’t know how I feel about it – it certainly seems like the best way to do what you’d like to do. I hadn’t considered it before because changing the lyrics in the second prechorus isn’t a very pop-like thing to do, but a) we’re in a musical theatre place as well and b) who gives a shit anyway and c) if it’s simpler then that sounds great to me.
Thoughts?